Parents

TANTRUMS! Ah, the tantrum. This is a sharp trigger for adults. Can we prevent them? Sometimes we can, on a really good day. But the truth is, sometimes they just need to FEEL, and this is their way of expressing their emotions.

Rudolf Dreikurs taught, “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.” In other words, encouragement is essential. Children may not die without encouragement, but they certainly wither. Since encouragement is so essential, it would be good for parents to know exactly what encouragement means and how to do it. Let’s start with what encouragement is not.

In the world of early childhood education, empowering children with important social and life skills is paramount. One powerful tool in achieving this is the "Wheel of Choice". This simple yet effective tool can be used both in the classroom and at home to foster decision-making skills and emotional regulation in young children.

We have become vividly aware of how skilled most of us are in using enabling responses with our children, and how unskilled we are in using empowering responses. Our definition of enabling is, ʺGetting between young people and life experiences to minimize the consequences of their choices.ʺ

Rudolf Dreikurs taught the importance of being both kind and firm in our relations with children. Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. Permissive methods lack firmness. Kindness and firmness are essential for Positive Discipline.

I received an email from a person who wondered about the differences between the many Positive Discipline books. My guess is that many people have the same question so I created this very brief thumbnail description.

The majority of discipline models practiced in homes and schools today are based on punishments and rewards. Positive Discipline is based on the Adlerian model of eliminating all punishment and rewards in favor of encouragement that addresses the basic needs of children to belong and feel significant. Our task is to help children find belonging and significance in socially useful ways.

So, my 2 year old (25.5 months old) has been giving me such a rough time with diaper changes.  She has always been wiggly, even as a baby, and we do cloth diapers so it takes that much longer to get them on her... Lately it has been awful, where she ends up running around naked for 30 min or more after bath time because I just canNOT capture her long enough to get her diaper and/or jammies on.  (And we have tried potty training, but she is just not ready.)

Many people are having fun applying the principles from the Positive Discipline Tool Cards. When they share their great examples, I ask for their permission to share with others. Following you will find some helpful and encouraging examples from Katie Clark.

I feel amazed and grateful for the growth of Positive Discipline. There are so many wonderful people all around the world using Positive Discipline in their daily lives. Our Positive Discipline Association is growing every day and I see people encouraging and helping each other apply the principles of Positive Discipline.